godless at BYU?

Have you ever felt frustrated or confused and wanted to abandon your faith? Have you stepped away from God in your pursuit of happiness? Do stories of other people who have embraced atheism or agnosticism surprise and intrigue you?

Please allow me to share some brief observations.

If you are trying to develop a relationship with your Savior or your God, you need to remove things from your life that might be inhibiting that relationship. Many critics of organized religion and specifically, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, accuse churches of shackling their followers and repressing their ability to think and act for themselves. I find this criticism fascinating as nothing in my life, both from personal experience and observation of others, has been more damaging and shackling to one's ability to think and reason clearly and to act according to one's own desires and free will, than those addictive and consuming behaviors associated with physical, carnal pleasures.

Responding to the body's natural appetites for sexual or otherwise personal, self-serving gratification, without restraint and respect for the standards that God has set, is perhaps the quickest way to damage one's relationship with God. Agnosticism and atheism may become appealing to individuals who are focusing time, energy, and passion on satisfying lusts, because denying or ignoring the existence of a supreme creator who has established specific expectations of proper conduct, allows one to feel free of guilt that is a natural consequence of sin.

Guilt does not come from God. Guilt is a natural consequence of violating a rule or law that you have knowledge of. When you deny the existence of a god, you consequently forsake any principle that you had previously attributed to that deity. It may make logical sense that god does not exist based on a casual observation of nature and the world around you; the opportunity to present a case for the absence of god may become stronger in your mind. However, denying the existence of something does not impact whether or not it actually exists; only how you feel about it and therefore, how you behave.

If you are driving down a wide stretch of road, you will probably drive at a speed that you feel is appropriate for a road that size and in that location. If you never see a sign designating a speed limit or other cars traveling the same direction as you, you will simply pick the speed you like best or find most appropriate. Let's say you begin driving this route frequently and over time you begin driving faster and faster, all the while justifying in your mind that it must be okay to do so. You can write your own ending for this story and perhaps you've had this exact experience, but the fact of the matter is that you recognize that your perception of the authority that exists to govern the speed of traffic on this road and the laws that have been enacted may be suddenly rendered completely meaningless, if one day a law enforcement officer shows up here.

There are road signs posted! There are opportunities to learn about the authority that governs this world we live in and more importantly, life is not just a solo journey in a car. You have resources to help guide you. Among many other things and people, you have a phone. You may need to charge the battery. You may need to get out of a place that doesn't have good cell reception. You may feel you need to start out by simply sending a "text message" that acknowledges your desire to know more and perhaps even find out if there is someone on the other end who is interested in you and willing to send a message back.

I testify that the Lord lives. I know that He lives. I know that He loves me and He loves you. If you feel like He is not communicating with you, give this experiment a shot. Remove things from your life that may be blocking the signal from Him; this includes inappropriate sexual activity, abusive behaviors, and media, including music, that contains strong suggestive language or themes relating to sex, violence, hate, and other egregious and offensive attitudes and behaviors. You may still doubt that He is there, but I am confident that He can't make His presence known to you unless you are at least trying to remove these things from blocking His signal. Then, find a place that is comfortable for you to look for Him. For some that simply means solitude. For others that is nature. If you are comfortable doing it, the best way is through study of His written word and prayer, either out loud or in your heart. If you are not ready to make that effort, at least seek for solitude or nature or another peaceful place where you can ponder and search your heart. The Lord will speak to you if you are truly looking. I pray that you will search your heart and see what your heart really desires and then act accordingly, recognizing that so many things in this world can dull your senses and rob you of your ability to think and act for yourselves. But you won't find those things that rob you of your freedoms if you try the experiment I just suggested. If you try the experiment, I testify to you that you will find God.